Moo! (mindlint) wrote,

[JE] Five Failed Attempts (Pin) (PG-13)

Title: Five Failed Attempts
Fandom: JE
Pairing: Yamapi/Jin (Pin)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. Woe.
Summary: Pi and Jin attempt to bake a cake
Author’s Note: FLUFF! For acchikocchi, as it’s inspired by her Christmas ficlet. Half written whilst avoiding potato-peeling on Christmas morning, and half on Christmas evening when a little tipsy ;D
Merry Christmas, Pinions! *snuggles*


Pi thought they went into the whole operation with the wrong attitude. Christmas cake, as it turned out, didn't take well to being approached with a blasé frame of mind.

It probably didn't help that Jin added grapes instead of sultanas and raisins.

"They'll shrivel in the heat," he informed Pi authoritatively.

He was wrong. The Christmas cake was the first casualty of Pi and Jin's baking stint.

"I'm sure it tastes fine."

"Jin, it doesn't even look edible."

Jin rolled his eyes and took a bite, chewing once, twice, three times before his face screwed up and his eyes watered.

"Good?" Pi asked, trying not to laugh.


"I told you curry wasn't going to work as well as Christmassy spices."


They didn't get very far with the chocolate cake. Not that it was a complete loss, starting from the moment Jin trapped Pi between himself and the counter and kissed him, and getting better as he reduced Pi to a moaning mess when his hand accidentally found its way into the bowl of melted chocolate and Jin decided to lick his fingers clean.


Gingerbread men were fun. They didn't have cutters, so they created their own fantastical shapes by cutting them out of the dough with a knife.

Jin turned to Pi, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

"Look, Pi. Does it remind you of anyone?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and sticking his chest out in a pose not unlike the little gingerbread man's. With one notable difference.

"Bakanishi. You've given him three legs!"

"Meet my likeness, Jin-ger-peen Man!"

Pi demanded to see proof of Jin's self-delusional prowess as soon as the gingerbread was in the oven. They had to find something to occupy themselves with for fifteen minutes, after all.

By the time they remembered about the gingerbread it was too late. Jin was particularly horrified to see Jin-ger-peen Man's middle 'leg' in flames.


The time had come to lay all ambitions to rest. After consulting Jin's elderly neighbour, a nice old woman, they chose the most straightforward cake to bake. Jin liked the sound of it too, saying Victoria sponge was a guaranteed victory and thereby no-doubt presenting an irresistible target for Fate.

Jin turned to Pi from where he was standing at the fridge, a box of eggs in hand.

"Pi?" he said, his tone contemplative.


"I wanted to ask you..."

"Is this going to be kinky?" asked Pi with a leer.

"What!? No! Not everything is about sex!"

"Oh. Sorry." Pi cleared his throat. "Go ahead."

"What came first, the chicken or the egg?" asked Jin, looking at the egg box.

"Is this the beginning of a joke?"

"No - it's something they ask here. I haven't quite figured out why yet - I think it's like a test or something."

Pi considered the question for a moment and thought through his logic aloud.

"Chicken, or egg. Some kind of pre-chicken lays a mutated egg, and the chicken hatches from that," he muttered. "So... egg."


"Definitely the egg," confirmed Pi, nodding.

Jin tilted his head to the side, pouted like he did when he was concentrating, and then his eyes crinkled, his face splitting into a grin.

"Baka!" he guffawed. "Even if the mutant egg came out first, no-one knew it was a chicken egg until the chicken was born! So the chicken came first!"

Pi looked on in disbelief. He didn't realise his jaw was hanging open until Jin took advantage of the fact by kissing him.

Later, they couldn't understand what could possibly have gone wrong with the cake - which was a thick solid mass sitting at the bottom of the cake tin. Until Pi looked at the box of eggs, that was, and counted the eggs while simultaneously noticing the distinct lack of eggshells.

He groaned.

"We forgot the eggs!"

"The chicken-"

"Bakanishi. There aren't any eggs in that cake!"


They bought five packs of the ready-mixture, just in case the first (and subsequent) attempts were unsuccessful.

At the bottom of the stairwell to Jin's apartment, Jin stuck out a foot and tripped Pi, sending him sprawling.

"Sorry! It's for both our sakes!" he shouted over his shoulder as he raced up the stairs and into his apartment, bolting the door behind him.

Free from Pi-shaped distractions, Jin rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to bake.

It took two and a half hours to bake a twenty-five minute cake, but on his fourth attempt the sponge looked just like the one in the picture on the box.

Grinning from ear to ear, Jin carefully carried it to the door of his apartment and opened the door.

"Look, Pi! I did it!"

Pi looked up at him from where he was sitting on Jin's welcome-mat and smiled.

"Two and a half hours, Jin."

Jin's grin faltered. There was an edge to Pi's voice. On inspection, Pi was baring his teeth rather than smiling.

"Yes?" hazarded Jin.

"I could hear you humming the entire time." Again, Pi's voice was strangely flat, but with an edge.


"It took far, far too long, Jin."

Pi was on his feet in moments, grabbing the front of Jin's top to pull him forward and kissing him deeply.

Jin sighed into the kiss. Pi was right. It had been too long, and they obviously had to make up for lost time.

The plate clattered to the floor, forgotten, and a footprint appeared in the middle of the cake in the tousle that followed.


Jin woke up and stretched out. He stopped mid-way, wincing at the twinges from his muscles, then remembered why he was so tired, and threw out an arm, expecting to find warmth and the rise and fall of another person in his bed. Not just any another person. Pi.

But there was no one there.

Had he imagined the whole thing, he wondered? Was her really lonely enough in this foreign land to imagine a visit? He hadn't thought so, but maybe-

The door opened and Pi appeared, carrying a tray. Jin became aware of the smell of freshly brewed coffee permeating the air. He held his breath and watched in silence as Pi carried the tray to the desk at the side of the room, set it down with a click, and turned towards him.

Satisfied that this wasn't a hallucination, Jin scrabbled towards Pi as fast as he could crawl across to the end of the bed and threw his arms around a surprised Pi.

"I thought - you weren't there - and I thought I imagined the whole thing and I didn't know-"

And Jin knew he sounded like such a girl, but he didn't care, because Pi was here now, but he wouldn't be here one morning soon. Anyway, this was Pi - which made it all right - because as much he was the best fun ever, he also knew when to be quiet and let Jin have his little moments. Jin didn't have to worry he was going to be teased about this later.

Pi rubbed Jin's back with one hand until the death-grip around his neck loosened, and leaned back, kissing Jin's cheek as he went.

"I'm still here, Jin. For a few more days. However-" Pi extracted his other hand from where it had been crushed between them and opened it with a grimace. A mass of blue-grey spongy lumps fell out.

"Is that-?"

"Formerly a blueberry muffin," confirmed Pi, nodding.


Jin bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Maybe... maybe we should admit defeat."

"Never!" cried Pi, sounding scandalised at the suggestion. "Anyway, I bought a dozen. There's another eleven of these in the kitchen." Pi's gaze grew determined. “We’ll eat baked goods if it kills us, Jin."

"Well, if you got them from the store on the corner, it might."

Pi looked at the muffin debris in his hand, then at Jin. Then at his hand again. Then at Jin. And then, with an air of great concentration, Pi raised his hand and rubbed the crumbs into Jin's hair.

Jin stared for a moment in shock.

"My hair!" he squawked.

Pi laughed and picked out a chunk, popping it into his mouth before Jin launched himself at him with a cry.

The purple-blue stains of blueberry on the bed sheets never did wash out completely.

Tags: a light dusting of crack, bunnies will doom us all, ding-dong-merrily-on-(crack)-high, floppy floofy fluff, je fic: johnny should rule the world, pin - for the win!
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